I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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