Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
