This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
