i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
