She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
