Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
there is glitter all over my balls
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
