WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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