Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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