I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
