im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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