let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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