I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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