that's an acceptable place to lick
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
