I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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