But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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