I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize