Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
