Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think my fart just growled at me.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
