Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
