he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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