The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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