I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my shit smells like andre
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Be still, my beating vagina.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
