i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Come share oat with me in your robe
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
