You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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