how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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