making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
