Fuck appropriateness.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
