We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You left your phone here
Wait...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize