I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
