...so i touched it.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
