I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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