Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
