margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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