Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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