maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize