Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
