I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
