Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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