oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
