Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
