If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
