we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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