buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
