Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
