You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
