I'm going to jail i love you
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
