Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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