Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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