it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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