i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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