Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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