I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
