ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
