I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
