pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
