You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
