I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I take back everything I said about communal showers
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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