do herpes really smell.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
