My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
