matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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