OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
