k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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