yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he wants to bone in the snuggie
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
