puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
