and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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