Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
