he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
