you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
