Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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