wat bout pragnant strippers??
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
