The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The adults are the big ones right?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
