i was born a porn star she said
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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