when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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