I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize