Life is so much better after having sex.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize