Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
