I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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