My sheets look like a crime scene.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize