covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize