Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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