Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
