YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
