I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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